Saturday, September 25, 2021

Well, I Never Been to Spain...


Ever wonder what life would be like if you had or hadn’t done that one thing? My class trip to Spain in 1995 is one of those experiences for me. In recent months, I wake up most days wondering “who am I going to be today”?! Although I’m sure there are other examples, like becoming a mother, my trip to Spain was the most profound experience of my own rebirth that I can recall. Unlike becoming a mother, the swift transformation I allowed myself during that trip was completely unexpected, at least consciously unexpected. Similar to the transformation of becoming someone’s Mama, it touched every aspect of my Being – no part of me was the same after. So far from home, with only acquaintance-type friends around me, I allowed the ties to my former self to be completely released. I became the person I always wanted to be and it was so much fun!!!

My former self, the one so diminished by fear, was dying to transform! I had no idea this early graduation gift would be the catalyst to becoming who I truly was at that time. My true self had been creeping up intermittently through acts of teenage rebellion in the months leading up to our big journey, but those two weeks touring that foreign land, from its high-desert plains down to the coast and into the sea, offered me the gift of a lifetime. It offered me myself.

I ripped open that shiny, sparkly gift of myself with such excitement and enthusiasm, I couldn’t help but play with the new toy inside immediately! I “played” by speaking to people with confidence and interest, making eye contact with everyone who passed by. I took in my foreign surroundings with such wonder – everything was amazing and beautiful and awe-inspiring. Even seemingly mundane things like the pattern of the bricks of the walking plazas gave me a sense of wonderment. Through spontaneous conversations with benevolent strangers, a few of my trip-mates and I learned to salsa dance at a beachside bar. Two of the benevolent strangers enjoying some Mediterranean beach time with their motley crew happened to be professional salsa dancers! 

An ugly duckling a few rounds in this lifetime, including my entire 16 years leading up to this trip, I avoided the opposite sex as much as possible, just as they avoided me. I took my coke-bottle glasses off whenever I could, and with this newfound confidence,  I delighted in beautiful grown men flirting with me, and me them! As you can imagine, my confidence grew exponentially. I spoke with people from all over the world, and each one seemed to meet me with as much interest as enthusiasm for me as I had for them. I literally had the time of my life!

My clumsy attempts to speak their native Spanish language were warmly welcomed. They helped me understand them and vice-versa. I never felt judged, only embraced and accepted in this friendly, beautiful place among so many beautiful people! Spain, especially its capital, Madrid, felt so familiar to me…I truly felt at home. I gladly volunteered to take the worst bunk with my roommates, I rose the earliest to be out of their bleary-eyed ways in the morning – nothing could dim my experience in this Spanish paradise. I ventured across an ocean as a teenage nobody, afraid of the world, and returned two weeks later with myself, full of confidence, enthusiasm, and a zest for life that didn’t exist within me before I left. Unbelievable!

And now here I am today, having just journeyed through the darkest parts of myself to experience yet another rebirth, and I can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness that this inward journey was so heavy compared to my rebirth in Spain. But what if I hadn’t? What if I had let all that fear and resistance keep me from this new understanding of who I truly am, how I best work, and what I want to put my time and energy into? What if I had never been to Spain?

The truth is my soul wouldn’t let me stay stuck. I came here with an unremembered agenda of experience and feeling I could only have during this lifetime - right here, right now. I have so much sparkle and fun ahead of me, it was time I released all that baggage keeping me from myself, keeping me from realizing my dreams. Spain showed me who I wanted to be, and my Dark Night of the Soul Journey 2021 showed me who I no longer was. And now I get to learn how to be who I am today, and it feels pretty damned good!

I saw Three Dog Night at the Historic Trempealeau Hotel the summer after I returned from Spain. I always liked this song, but after having been there, "Never Been to Spain" became an unexpected personal anthem. I love the sensual sound and feel, and of course, the memories this song throw me right back into are a gift...of a lifetime.


My Dark Night of the Soul Journey was necessary to reach where I am today. While I am still working through the residue of a lifetime of beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve me, I am so grateful to be the most authentic version of myself I have ever known. If you're curious, please join me at the beginning of this adventure of me. It has been a journey worth taking, for sure!

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